Category Archives: Relationship

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The Selfish Prison

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Most people wake up and go through life bound by the chains and shackles of selfishness; constantly looking for more.  Searching for what they may gain, how they can get ahead, who to befriend, calculating returns for actions that are sown in vein, only to reap a dry dusty whirlwind.  The hidden tragedy is God has more, but the bondage keeps them locked away from God’s best.  Bondage unseen is always the bondage that limits you and maintains your lack in life and frustration.  It’s impossible to help someone with a problem they don’t believe they have.  When you see the shackles you begin to think how to escape.  When you’re oblivious you resign to the thought, “this is life,” and do nothing to change.  

Light illuminates what binds us.  Love is light.  Psalm 36:9 tells us in His light we see light, and by the context we understand His light is Love.  It is God’s love that sets us free.  Love is not self-seeking.  Light and dark cannot walk together.  Love and selfishness cannot walk together.  Saying you love your neighbor doesn’t matter unless you really love your neighbor.  God, who sees hearts, sees both actions prompted by love and those calculated steps performed for self in search of God’s rewards.

Most make decisions based on themselves (self-seeking).  This is a well worn path for people in this world, but it is a path of bondage.  Many need to quit acting like a cheesy lawyer, selfishly using God’s word like a legal document, demanding a judgement in your favor; that’s not love and much more how the enemy works.  This is a large part of why believer’s lack power.  He didn’t set us free to be selfish.  God has called us to live in Him, therefore we live in Love (1 John 4:16).  God is your Father, not some distant Judge; this implies heart to heart relationship that fathers have with their children.  Our success in life is directly proportional to our relationship with the God who is Love (1 John 4:8).  Many may have had a poor, or no, example of a loving father in this life and face a stronghold trying to believe their heavenly Father is love.  God demonstrates His love always; it is His kindness that leads us to change.  It is His kindness that weaves us into the tapestry of heaven on earth.  

The two commandments Jesus noted as the greatest are to love God & love your neighbor (Matthew 22:37).  These commands sum up the entire law and the prophets.  These are the litmus test for being led by the Spirit.  LOVE does not conform to religion, legalism, or works, but Love transforms all dry and weary routines.  Love breaks the chains of bondage.  Love brings freedom from selfishness.  Love leads us to the “more” God has for us.  The “more” God has is outside our shackles of self.  It is time to breakout and expand your tent stakes, it is time to live outside the box.  It is time to trust God with your whole heart.  Walk in love, trusting God to watch out for you, provide for you, and even surprise you with His goodness.  Follow the Spirit (Love) as He leads you on the perfect path of peace.  His love will be our light and His word will be a lamp to our feet.  

Father in heaven, forgive me for being self-seeking.  I want to walk in love.  Lead me today on the path of peace.  Open my eyes to what you see.  Give me grace to love like you love.  Live through me.  In Jesus name, Amen.

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Unity is Not Conformity

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Many people, in an attempt seeking to fulfill the scripture of “unity of the body of Christ” found in Ephesians 4, come together and commit to be in agreement.  They can agree with their doctrine, dress code, commitment to lead a sinless life, almost anything.  The problem is they never find unity.  They find a poor imitation of unity; conformity.

People that commit to intimate relationship with God and each other find unity.  They live a life founded on God’s love and resulting in family.  These people are in the secret place, in unity, where God has bestowed a special blessing.

1 How good and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in unity!
2 It is like precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron’s beard,
down upon the collar of his robes.
3 It is as if the dew of Hermon
were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the LORD bestows his blessing,
even life forevermore.

Psalm 133

The fundamental difference between being in “agreement” versus being in relationship is seen in our interaction with each other.  All relationships need open communication in order to be functional and fulfilling. When people are not equally transparent, accessible, and committed to ongoing dialogue, be assured things will grow stagnant quickly.  

Conformity leads quickly to not being real and open, but holding back and drowning in stagnation.  Unity is fresh and alive because it is founded on love, not agreement.  Think of a marriage.  It’s absurd to think a husband and wife will always agree.  Agreement doesn’t bind them together it’s their commitment to love each other no matter what.  Now they have a safe place that they can disagree and work through things because their relationship is not built on their performance or “agreement,” but on an eternal love that can never be broken.  There is freedom in love.  Freedom to grow, the opposite of stagnation.

Unity, built on love advances the Kingdom, while conformity advances an agenda which results in stagnation and isolation.  We are all called into a divine “relationship of grace” with God, and each other.  This requires honest, sincere, open communication on our part, not agreement.

Unity or conformity are both fruit of our actions.  Be who God made you to be, love, and share your heart.  Others will be attracted to the life in you and God will be glorified.

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Eyes are useless when the mind is Blind

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As we approach mid-term elections I experience more and more political encounters that seem to end in train wrecks.  Which certainly shouldn’t be real surprising.  When both sides have their mind made up and have zero interest in understanding each other than the result will always be a tragic breakdown in communication.  Popular opinion is that yelling louder than the other guy somehow helps.  It doesn’t.  It strengthens the divide and sets people up for offense, bitterness, and a life of distress.  Just watch any television news and you will see exactly this.

If we want to nurture any hope whatsoever that the other side may “see the light,” then we MUST be willing to have a conversation.  You know, like two real grown ups.  Hoping to convince someone of their wrong beliefs or incongruent logic is impossible if you are not willing to put yourself in their shoes.  This requires you to enter into the conversation with a willingness to understand and not just a desire to change someone else.  The scary part about this is if two adults enter into a conversation with the intent to understand then they may change the way they think.  It is possible, however unlikely you believe it to be, that you may discover your logic was incongruent.  Easily ignored while in the isolation of our own minds, but obvious to the person sitting across the table talking with us.

Listening leads to effective change while yelling leads to irreconcilable differences.  The next conversation you have with someone other than your echo or clone please try to understand their point of view.  Ask yourself  and them why they believe that.  This simple question will help you understand and help them cement their current stance or see the flaw in their thinking.  To have a conversation you must be willing to set aside your views, beliefs, and biases and be willing to try to understand the other’s position along with WHY they believe what they believe.

You will be surprised at the results.  You probably won’t both walk away agreeing but you will walk away with the start of a relationship.  You will walk away with thoughts that churn inside like the sand in an oyster.  The Bible tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

We are not as sharp as we think we are.  Sit down with someone and have a conversation with a heart to understand.  When elections are over we have to be able to reach out across differences and unite as human beings, even if we think differently.

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Life without Relationship is a Lie

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I see people crying out everyday for love, for relationship that touches their inmost parts and then living in complete turmoil, pain, and confusion.  Growing numb to their routine and hoping in their hearts something will change.  All of this proves God’s words true.

Proverbs 19:22 says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”

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