As we approach mid-term elections I experience more and more political encounters that seem to end in train wrecks.  Which certainly shouldn’t be real surprising.  When both sides have their mind made up and have zero interest in understanding each other than the result will always be a tragic breakdown in communication.  Popular opinion is that yelling louder than the other guy somehow helps.  It doesn’t.  It strengthens the divide and sets people up for offense, bitterness, and a life of distress.  Just watch any television news and you will see exactly this.

If we want to nurture any hope whatsoever that the other side may “see the light,” then we MUST be willing to have a conversation.  You know, like two real grown ups.  Hoping to convince someone of their wrong beliefs or incongruent logic is impossible if you are not willing to put yourself in their shoes.  This requires you to enter into the conversation with a willingness to understand and not just a desire to change someone else.  The scary part about this is if two adults enter into a conversation with the intent to understand then they may change the way they think.  It is possible, however unlikely you believe it to be, that you may discover your logic was incongruent.  Easily ignored while in the isolation of our own minds, but obvious to the person sitting across the table talking with us.

Listening leads to effective change while yelling leads to irreconcilable differences.  The next conversation you have with someone other than your echo or clone please try to understand their point of view.  Ask yourself  and them why they believe that.  This simple question will help you understand and help them cement their current stance or see the flaw in their thinking.  To have a conversation you must be willing to set aside your views, beliefs, and biases and be willing to try to understand the other’s position along with WHY they believe what they believe.

You will be surprised at the results.  You probably won’t both walk away agreeing but you will walk away with the start of a relationship.  You will walk away with thoughts that churn inside like the sand in an oyster.  The Bible tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

We are not as sharp as we think we are.  Sit down with someone and have a conversation with a heart to understand.  When elections are over we have to be able to reach out across differences and unite as human beings, even if we think differently.