I see people crying out everyday for love, for relationship that touches their inmost parts and then living in complete turmoil, pain, and confusion.  Growing numb to their routine and hoping in their hearts something will change.  All of this proves God’s words true.

Proverbs 19:22 says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”

I see this every time I see a young woman leaving next to nothing for the imagination.  Her face decorated with what obviously took hours of tedious make up which may fit for a gala on Saturday night but is out-of-place Sunday afternoon in the grocery store.  Or I see a man put all of his money and resources into a vehicle and gadgets yet is routinely looking for a new place to rent because of trouble staying current with bills.  I could go on and on with real examples of people, but I want to discuss the answers they desperately seek.  All people need and desire love.  This is the fuel that runs the engine of our lives.  People with nothing to live for quickly fall into depression and a mire of questions seeking something to live for.

The problems begin to rise when people seek relationship without understanding how God created them.  People are created in the image of God and this means people are made up of a body, mind, and spirit.  When anyone seeks a relationship in only one or two phases of their make up then they quickly find hurt and pain as dreams of life and love come crashing down.  The world is right there to comfort them by telling them you cannot trust people and people are out to use you.  The lie in these well intended words of so-called wisdom is it is impossible to know love without knowing trust.  Love always trusts (1 Corinthians 13:7).

Most are unaware their own actions were the problem and the painful results were just the fruit of a wrong approach.  What is the wrong approach, you ask?  Any time we seek a relationship and ignore our human make up, spirit, soul, and body, we are building a relationship with a faulty foundation and the more you build the greater the crash.

Healthy relationships always are made up of all three parts of our human make up; body, soul, and spirit.  Healthy relationships also start in the correct order; spirit, soul, and body.  The world, ignoring their triune identity, goes after relationship in the body first.  Physical touch is good but it must be in order.  If that is all people think a good relationship is then they are quickly disappointed and bitter.  Some worldly “deep thinkers” may say that the depth of love is more than physical but also requires one’s soul.  This is better, though out-of-order, and still results in a crash.  Love and a good solid relationship can only be found when all three parts are connected in the correct order.

This is true for all relationships, not just our spouse or future spouse.  Jesus said that eternal life is a relationship with Him and the Father (John 17:3).  He is Spirit.  The order of all creation is set by God.  First spirit then flesh.  The connection between body and spirit is our soul or mind.  Honoring God’s order leads to life.  Honoring God leads to love, for God is love (1 John 4:8).

Jesus said, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.”

Matthew 7:24

His love for us is so great that He’s given us total freedom to choose how we pursue relationships and love.  If we choose to listen and follow His ways we will find what we seek and avoid pain and bitterness along the way.  Ask God to help you honor Him and lead you to love and life.  He will and you will be blessed.